Deep Dark Web: US~Observer
By Syran Warner
Duped by Mother, Court Takes Children?
All I had to read was the headline.
When Melissa Parker’s Instagram post about an article in the US Observer went live a few weeks ago I couldn’t have been more excited to see what was inside the piece. I love pro-cult propaganda!
Text from US Observer
The article does not disappoint. It’s totally bonkers.
For The Body historian in your life, the US Observer piece pairs nicely with Laura Knowlton’s Okanogan Gazette-Tribune story from June which was never released online.
Active members are victims in these stories. They are victims, that’s true, but not the kind of victims they’re made out to be in this record.
Here, there’s a conspiracy against Chris Coombes and his, uh, associates. The cult is just a story.
Of course, my favorite part of the new US Observer piece is the section about me.
“Christopher is also the target of a libelous and slanderous smear campaign by a nonsensical internet blogger who has been cyber-stalking Christopher and his friends. Reportedly, this blogger is working with Carrie to provide slanderous media coverage during the Court proceedings in an effort to discredit the credibility of all witnesses against her. The Blogger is maliciously accusing Christopher and his witnesses of belonging to a cult, and other alleged conspiracies. This blogger even made a trip all the way to Tonasket from Minneapolis recently to make threats and continue to stir up the community.”
Libelous. Slanderous. Nonsensical. Cyber-stalking. Malicious. Internet blogger.
Not to be a stick in the mud, but the term “internet blogger” is redundant. Are there non-internet bloggers? Excise the word “internet.”
Also, I’ve never communicated with Carrie Coombes in any way in spite of a hell of a lot of effort on my part when this all started. Not once. No phone calls. No DMs. No pokes on Facebook. No telepathy. Nothing. I’m just an internet blogger in Minneapolis, dude.
This part of the article is fantastic. I’m a little sad that Snook didn’t call me a “cult hunter man,” but Melissa included the hashtag #culthunter when the article was introduced to the world, so I can’t be too upset.
So, what’s the worst part of the article?
Well, that’s the video of Carrie Coombes that the US Observer got from a cult called The Body. It’s meant to convince readers that Carrie never wanted to have custody of the kids in the first place, but it’s fairly obvious what’s going on here.
Why is she smiling?
The Body is notorious for blackmailing members on their way out. There are texts messages from a former member about how they belong in prison for life because of their “crimes,” and those showed up in court documents once the member was cut off. Those texts happened to be sent in the desperate days before they were officially dismissed.
This video of Carrie recorded in 2018 is in the same genre.
Why would Carrie make a video like that and send it to Ruthie Bisset? She says no one is forcing her to make it, and yet… there is really no reason for her to make the video on her own. The custody of her children had already been settled in court. And she’s smiling!
What use would this video provide Carrie Coombes after her divorce? Was it just something for the ol’ scrapbook? A fun memory to send to your church leader’s wife? What’s the purpose of creating a document like that other than how it was utilized nearly four years later by US~Observer?
It definitely comes from The Body. Ruthie Bisset had a copy so, Marc Bisset was aware of the tape. It’s blackmail. It’s basically a hostage video.
When you watch the tape you can begin to understand why a judge gave Carrie her kids back after she had previously given up all rights to Chris. You can see why the judge signed the 12 year restraining order prohibiting Chris Coombes from having any contact with Carrie or the children that’s mentioned in the US~Observer.
Carrie doesn’t mince her words about what The Body is in an affidavit written before the rescues.
The Body is a cult, we know that. So, what is US Observer AKA US~Observer?
What kind of newspaper would run a smear like this and post a video like Carrie’s with no ethical objection?
The US Observer is a fake newspaper from the Pacific Northwest that specializes in legal reporting. When there’s a story about your case that you don’t like, you can call the paper and hire them to “investigate” your side of the story and report on it for a fee.
When articles are written the (corrupt, religious, far-right) publication will then release copies of it’s paper in the community you’d like it to be placed in.
The way it works is explained in its most basic form in the SEO description of their website.
Investigative newspaper that can be hired to beat false criminal charges? The paper also proclaims it’s “Promoting Excellence in Investigative Journalism” on the front page. They use question marks in their headlines sometimes. I love this stuff.
First off, it’s not really a newspaper if you can hire US Observer to write the story you want to tell. That’s against the rules.
You can place an ad in a newspaper. You can buy a whole goddamn page and write an editorial in your advertisement if you really want to talk, so long as it’s clear the space was purchased as advertorial real estate in the newspaper. You can’t hire a journalist to write the story you want to read. That’s bad. It’s my ~Observation that this is an ethical black hole. Journalists and editors decide what’s printed, not the readers. US Observer is not what any newspaper would consider a newspaper, if that makes sense.
It goes without saying that you cannot trust anything in this ridiculous, phony newspaper. It’s bullshit. It’s bad faith propaganda, at best.
So they get paid by the people they’re writing stories for. There’s a little more information in their formatting catastrophe of an About section.
WE HAVE NO RULES
But, US Observer sort of looks like a real newspaper though, right?
It has, uh, advertising and, uh, wanted ads like any other newspaper.
This is Scientology. The two other ads are for a Mexican restaurant and a trailer rental agent, respectively.
What newspaper doesn’t want an RV?
But, you know, it’s not really a newspaper.
What US Observer does is promise its clients that the paper can change the outcomes of cases. You can see why a cult that once employed Katie Quinn would be into that.
What’s crazy is that it really seems to work. The testimonials are incredible.
“I was acquitted because of you.”
”I would have lost everything.”
”You changed my life forever.”
Those are pretty fucking good results for a pay-to-play newspaper that works with cults like The Body and Narconon.
Not everyone is happy with the service, however.
One woman claims she hired the “newspaper,” came up with the $10,000 they requested, and when she asked what was going on with her story, they promptly flipped the script and smeared the shit out of her instead of the targets of her scorn.
The whole affair exists in bananasland over here, but it would be crazy not to include a clip from the audio of Edward Snook below. He’s the investigative journalist who recently indicated that The Body was NOT a cult and called me “nonsensical.” Here he is calling a customer a bitch on a telephone.
Whoa, doggie!
Not cool, newspaper journalist.
So, that’s all the time we have today for US Observer.
I suppose we learned that paying to create bullshit news stories is bad, and… [editor wildly waving his arms]
So there are court records, sure, and it’s bad to pay the press for press… [Editor self-immolating after carving bit.ly address into forehead]
Alright, it gets worse.
Here are some other calls to US~Observer.
Not great.
The web is deep and dark.
Maybe this is worse than I thought.
