Checking In With #IGotOut
By Syran Warner
#Igotout is a new movement that focuses on survivor stories from those affected by cults and other high demand groups. Created during the pandemic, the project aims to change the way ex-members vocalize their experiences of having been victimized. As the hashtag #igotout has grown, there have been a great many stories shared and a previously invisible population has emerged from the shadows to let the world know how universal and personal their dilemmas were. The results of the project have been inspiring, showcasing a solidarity for survivors of a broad range of groups, but as the creators will tell you, the project is still in its infancy and there are bigger intentions for it on the horizon.
Wanting to know more about the project, The Body International recently spoke with the women who got the ball rolling, author Gerette Buglion and Lisa, who keeps things anonymous when it comes to matters of press.
First off, I wanted to know how the project came to be. Lisa told us she had ideas of a project to help survivors, but she needed help from some of the bigger names in the world of ex-members and experts.
Lisa: “After watching the HBO documentary The Vow I had reached out to Sarah Edmondson. And we started just cooking up ideas for making something for cult survivors.
NXIVM Survivor and high profile #igotout figure Sarah Edmondson.
And I wasn't sure what it was going to be yet, but I was full of ideas and had acquired the website, the domain igotout.org. I knew I wanted to do something and was kind of bouncing ideas off of Sarah and off of my husband. Then I saw Steven Hassan, because I followed him on Twitter, using the hashtag #igotout.
I had already thought that I was going to ask Sarah for an introduction to him because she knew him, but when I saw him using the hashtag, I was like, “oh, I’ll just call him myself.” So, I called his office and talked to his assistant and told her about the ideas that I was having with I Got Out, and she just said, “why don't you write all those down?” And so, I wrote down a bunch of stuff, sent him a letter.
And then a few minutes later, I was invited to this meeting with Steve Hassan and some other folks…one of whom was Gerette Buglion.
Gerette - “Steve Hassan, some of his friends, and I had been tossing around a couple of different ideas of hashtags. I had been very inspired by the hashtag #metoo movement and really wanted to create something similar for people who got out of cults because I felt like the energy trapped in people who have gotten out of cults was an enormous force.”
America’s leading cult expert Steven Hassan showing his support of the hashtag.
Gerette goes onto to say she’d been playing with hashtags for awhile and some of the ideas that she eventually dismissed were #hoodwinked and #ivebeenduped, none of which were as succinct and viral ready as #igotout.
Lisa: “From the get-go we had decided that it was important to not focus on the takedown or naming of names of any certain group or leadership. That we were going to instead focus on what aspects of our stories are similar. Anybody that’s had a cultic experience can read and identify with some portion of somebody's content.”
Keeping stories focused on the survivors and not the leadership of groups also serves a practical purpose, Lisa mentions. This way they won’t step on the landmine of the extra-legal. To run an anti-cult operation, you must consider the element of not getting your organization sued out of existence, which has happened before. Gerette is a fan of keeping the focus on the survivors as well.
Gerette: “Keeping the focus on that sharing of stories. That has been a really core element. That is the sole mission of #igotout and everything else that we do in terms of the resources and now community building, because it's actually happening organically. All of that comes out of this hub, this focus of the sharing of stories.”
Gerette Buglion is on the front lines at #igotout.
I asked when they started to notice the hashtag spread on its own. Lisa attributes the first spike in the use of the hashtag to following a lead about an ex-Moonie month from a source online. She focused on survivors using the hashtag in their stories and all the sudden there were many stories on Instagram in the I Got Out orbit. From then on there would be a focus on identifying survivors in monthly increments and the hashtag really started to bloom.
Next, we talked about the process of destigmatizing ex-members. There’s often shame involved when someone leaves a cult, and many individuals don’t understand victim stories. Gerette has thought about this and says the creative writing program that she teaches through I Got Out has helped survivors liberate themselves of the shame. She hosts this writing course called Writing to Reckon for ex-members to tell their stories every week and says she sees the therapeutic side of simply getting stories out there.
Gerette: “I can tell you that every single one of those classes, there is an absolute busting, breaking through of the shame. Every single time there are people who through just the action of telling their story, getting it down on paper or on their computer, you know, reading it and being heard that it is just the most incredible process. It just blows me away every single time how powerful the simplicity of that is. And every single time there is a freeing of the shame-shackles that takes place.”
I asked Lisa why it’s important for these stories to be told when we already have stories in the popular imagination. She says #igotout isn’t about the sensationalism that comes with cults but finding common ground.
Lisa: “The big reason why it is important for people to tell their stories is because it is a shared experience. When someone who is on the outside and reporting on those experiences, you lose a lot of the nuance and you're sensationalizing aspects of a person's story which only serves to divide. Whereas if we're telling our stories and are sharing the different aspects of manipulation and control with the mechanisms of mind control, then it's much easier to recognize it because it's everywhere.”
Gerette agrees.
Gerette: “One of the things that happens with cultic abuse is we start living our life outside of ourselves. The center of our life becomes the doctrine. Our core sense of agency and autonomy is eroded. And when we get out of that cultic environment, we can then be back in the center of our life, speak in "I" statements... and those statements empower us.”
What’s next for I Got Out? Lisa wants it to get as big as possible.
Lisa: “We want the hashtag #igotout to be the next hashtag #metoo. That's the goal. To be as big as hashtag #metoo and make the kind of changes that were brought about by that hashtag going mainstream. To end authoritarianism. To educate people so that they don't put up with bullshit and know how to navigate power dynamics in the workplace and their relationships.”
She also wants to see a spark in creativity. Lisa mentions that a hallmark of people inside cults is that the creative side of themselves is stifled and that by confronting the past a former member can rekindle the joy of thinking for themselves and using their mind for artistry.
It’s still anyone’s guess how big #igotout will become, but the speed at which it’s picked up over the past year is mighty impressive. Hopefully next year will be even bigger for the movement. Thank goodness for people like Lisa and Gerette. They’re doing the work needed to get stories out there, and stories and education are all we have in fighting back against cults.
